Sex without orgasm

...Is it still enjoyable?

Personally, yes. I am perfectly satified with the physical aspect. I know how to give myself an orgasm and I do on a regular basis.

And so when I was asked by a friend who revealed that she had never had an orgasm during sex but pretends she does just to get it over with, I could only relate on a small scale.

It is seldom that I reach orgasm during intercourse. And some men will feel bad if you don't, so I have faked it. Yes, but not to get it over with, just not to make him feel bad.

Should women settle for having sex without having an orgasm? I don't know. I know that I have had great lovers who could not make me cum. So the problem is not that the man is
bad in bed, some are, but not being able to have an orgasm, does not equate to a man
being bad in bed.

Studies suggest that only 25% of women reach orgasm through intercourse, yet most of us can through clitoral stimulation such as oral sex and masturbation.

Which leads me to a very important point. We have to know ourselves, and that extends to
exploring our bodies. I was shocked to find out that my friend felt ashamed to touch herself believing it to be a sin. She had never had an orgasm. Never.

Faking orgasms and lying about how perfect everything is will do no good. The truth
usually comes out in a bad way. It is best to be open and honest and work together to
achieve sexual bliss.

Comments

[John Donovan]

Hi there,

It is good that I learn this website. Maybe with your help I will find a solution to my problem with my partner at home.

She is a great woman. Very hot most of the time. But she is not able to have orgazm. For 2 years time (since our marriage) we tried many methods to make her have it and we failed. Simply she says she does not feel anything at all during intercourse. We tried oral and she starts feeling very well but after some point she says it starts hurting and we stop. So, I do not feel completely satisfied since she does not have her orgazm.

I am very knowledgeble about positions, technics and I am open to anything that could be useful. She is also not conservative in the bad. Still we are not able to achieve the aim, though we have 2 kids.

So, I think she (and me also) is missing a lot as she does not feel one of the most beautiful pleasure in the world. Also her inability to reach climax stands as a big wall in front of our sexual hapiness.

Is there any solution to our problem?

I will appreciate any comment.

Amen to that! I used to put up with gletting him get off and then falling asleep sometimes from being relaxed. i would get sooo agitated and feel used. one day he wanted to and i refused because of my not being pleased and feeling used-thus it started a big argument about other things as well, and it could have prevented that greatly if i had just spoken up when it was important!

john D here should try to get good at fingering his wife-this is sooo pleasurable for women! but as far as usual penetration- if he doesn't already, he should try to move a lil' differently- double check to find great new positions, have her also look. make sure the passion is there and have day(S) in which u have TIME with the kids at grandmas or something. the forplay should be really well too. the lack of feeling could be mental and maybe she just needs to try to think about it, what she is thinking during!! ask her DURING!! if it already isn't working well, u only have gain! you two don't sound like really old fucks so get into it!!! if she's fine with it, maybe she can look up some natural herbal viatims to take that are specifically for sex. GOOD LUCK ( if things have not already been solved!!)

[cedrick willson]

i wanted to know how can i make love
without an orgasm to make it better
for me and my partner

[gary]

Let's face it, in these modern times we live in if a woman is not achieving orgasm often she is to blame. That is if anyone is to blame.
I know there are exceptions to the rules so I am speaking in general terms.
These aren't the old days where men aren't aware of a woman's anatomy. No longer do most men think primarily of themselves in terms of sexual pleasure. If you live in a major urban area I think you may even understand when I say that quite often women are assertive in terms of their orgasm. Many are even getting more orgasms than their male partners! At least that is my own personal experience.
But I think most men would agree with me that some women are just more sexual than others. I have been with some women who it is very difficult to please and when they do achieve orgasm it is certainly more mild than the average or even my own for that matter. Why that is I can only speculate but after making the attempts to discuss it or get some type of direction without results you might have to accept that some people aren't gonna have earth shattering sex for reasons that they may or maynot know.
The flip side to that is much better! With some women it is easy to please them and perfect their orgasm. They really enjoy sex and it almost seems as if you can do nothing wrong. I think overall most men want to bring their partner to complete ecstasy. It obviously pleases her but it makes a guy feel secure and confidant when he is perceived as a great lover by both his partner and himself.
Aren't we all really basically in control of our sexual satisfaction these days? I mean we need the participation but in terms of the quality level isn't it really right there for the asking if so desired?
I hate to say it, and this may even get me in a little trouble out there but when a woman isn't able to achieve satisfaction I think it's like a lot of things these days's. It's the woman's fault!
I make that comment not trying to be sexist but rather from the position that I really think a lot of the problems with relationships are the fault of women these days.
I respect and love women but let's be honest, men don't start a lot of the headaches, arguments and confrontations.
At least I don't think they do.
Good luck!

[Lindsey]

Hi... I have always been a sexual person but thought I wanted to wait as much as possible to be a virgin before marriage. Anyyyywayyy, I was not a virgin, I was with one other person of whom I was engaged to at the time. Anwayy, I never had an orgazm with him, just faked them. I thought that this time with my sweet husband being newlyweds it would work out better. But 4 years later I haven't had an orgazm and I haven't ever told my husband. I just fake them. I feel awful on so many levels. The fact that I haven't told my husband, that there is something wrong with me that I can't have them, etc. etc. Any advice, thoughts?? Thanks so much in advance.