"Are you fucking my boyfriend?"
"Answer my question, bitch,"N screamed into the phone.
"I knew that N was going through a difficult time and was going around calling all the women who Allan knows and cursing us out, so I did not take her seriously. Allan had filled me in and told me to prepare myself for such a call.
I swear his love life is as screwy as mine.
"He'd asked her for a break hoping that she would construe taking a break to mean,break-up.Unfortunately, she did not. N took Allan's I want a break to mean exactly what is sounds like. A break for a short period. Then they would get back together and all would be well. But she found out that Allan was dating other people.
"And now she was losing it,"
"No," I said. You need to calm down,"
She started sobbing. "I just love him so much and he doesn't want me. Why doesn't he want me?"
I did not answer.
I told her that she could come over and we could talk if she liked. I wasn't going to talk. I was going to listen.
Of all the women who Allan has dated, I liked N the best. She's sweet and bubbly and she adores Allan. There is nothing the girl would not do for him. But Allan has a few problems with her.
1) She wants to get married and he doesn't want to marry anyone.
2) If he does come around to getting married. He's afraid of her becoming fat down the road especially if they have children. He said that he could just see it. She eats too much now, and doesn't exercise and I can just see it.
3) She is clingy. She wants to go everywhere with him and he is suffocating.
4) She is moving way too fast
I would never disclose any of that information to N, but I wanted to be there for her.
In my humble opinion, Allan should not have asked for a break if what he wanted was to break-up, he should have said so. I believe that one should be clear about these things. On the other hand, some women do not know how to take a hint. The writing was on the wall, but she did not want to see it.
N showed up still crying. I gave her water and sat with her. And I listened. She'd made a lot of calls that she should not have made, and threatened a lot of women that she should not have threatened. And begged Allan to take her back and love her, she should most certaintly not have done that.
I see a woman who will one day look back and hopefully cringe at what she has done and I hope she will forgive herself and move on.
Heartbreak can be very ugly. It can take us to the dark side of ourselves and make us do and say things that we should never have done or say.
But we must learn to suffer with dignity.
She said that she didn’t want to be alone and she spent the entire day curled up on my couch staring out the widow. She cried and fell asleep. Woke up and cried some more. She left late in the evening. I hugged her before she left and told her to call me. I watched her walk down the hallway seeming so alone.
We’ve all walked this lonely trail, haven’t we?
We can sympathize. Can’t we?
We understand...if only a little, don't we?