Today I went to the gym. As I was walking by his office "Blue eyes" looked up and saw me and gave me biggest smile. He has a crush on me. I've seen him watching me. I feel him wanting me.
But he has always kept his distance. He knew that I was with Benjamin. I'd added Benjamin to my membership and he did transaction.
Benjamin perhaps being a man picked up on the fact that "Blue eyes" liked me.
"He was looking at you like you're a biscuit," Benjamin said to me after we'd finished.
He was looking at you as if you were a biscuit?”
"Biscuit?" I asked.
“He is hot for you,”
"So what if he’s hot for me?" I asked.
"He can’t have you. It will be a fight to the death," he said.
Anyway, like I said. "Blue eyes" remained a respectful gentleman watching and lusting from a distance. I pretended not to notice. I say hello to him whenever I saw him. We made small talk and joke with each other. I never let on that I knew even though his eyes continued to betray him.
Today, I stopped by his office and asked permission to enter. Benjamin has been paying our dues and I've been meaning to stop in and get a divorce from our joint membership.
He rushed to let me in. It was nice let me tell you, to see someone so happy to see me.
I wasted no time telling him what I wanted to do.
"Why?" he asked.
"We broke up," I said.
He seemed shocked, but in no way sorry to hear it.
He pulled up my account.
"You're up to date. He just made a payment,"
"I know that he's still paying it. I want my own account,"
He looked at me. He has amazing eyes.
"What happened?" he asked gently. He has amazingly full lips.
I stared at him.
My mind is waking from its long sleep. I’m beginning to notice things. It’s been happening more frequently.
His shoulders are wide and hard. He had on a white shirt stretched to capacity across them. He had taken off his tie and unbuttoned the top button. I could see his pulse throbbing. If he were my man I would start kissing him right there.
He wasn’t just looking at me. He was watching me, the same yet different. Where before I’d sat across from him on the arms of another man, I now sat alone asking for a membership divorce, suddenly available, and suddenly vulnerable.
He IS a very attractive man. I didn’t fail to notice before. It just didn’t mean anything to me.
"Can you update the account for me?" I asked.
"Yes," He said.
"I asked what happened because I didn’t think that that man was ever going to let you go. He seemed very possessive and protective of you. And he was always giving me a look,”
“What kind of look?” I asked. I am beginning to think that men have a secret language.
“Like he wanted to fight,”
I giggled. “Maybe he did,”
He didn’t take his eyes off me. “Kitten,” he said. “I just want you to know that I am very attracted to you. I just didn’t say anything because I know that you were involved, but since you’re free, I want you to know, so maybe, if you’re interested, I would like to take you out sometime,”
I didn’t answer right away. “No pressure. I would just like to sit down and talk to you. Get to know you a little bit more. I’ll be more than happy to listen to you tell me why you and B broke up,”
“Why would you want to do that?”
“I can’t even begin to tell you how curious I am about you,”
“You know what they say about curiosity, don’t you?”
“I’m willing to give up a life or two or three,” He said.
“I can't make any promises but maybe one day. Just not right now. I have too much going on, and some emotional things to work through on my own, ok?”
“Maybe is a hell of a lot better than no, so I will take it,” He gave me his number and told me to call him.
B always said that there is always another man waiting to take his place. There is always a lurker around the corner ready to take me from him. He sees them all the time.
That maybe true. But isn’t it also true that most lurkers cannot get through the door if we don’t leave it open?
“Blue eyes” would’ve remained in the background watching me with him from a distance.
I don’t know if it would be a good idea to date “Blue eyes”. And chances are, I will not date him. He works at the gym where I workout, and I don’t want to feel uncomfortable should something happen. I’ve done it before, and I ended up having to change gym. I've vowed never to do it again.
But it’s good to know that when one door closes, many, many more opens. I would like all of you single men and women out there mourning a lost love to know that what you’re going through is only the end of one chapter to one love story.