Am I too rigid and unbending in my beliefs?
Am I heartless and unforgiving?
Does my ability to think in terms of black and white cloud my better judgment?
These are questions I’ve been thinking about lately because of comments some of you made in my previous post. I find the comments very interesting, there were some very important points that I felt I needed to take a look at.
I don't know everything and I'm always ready to listen and learn. And whether you agree with me or not, I value them all.
And then I ran into someone today, who accused me of being the coldest, most unforgiving, cut-your-throat-and-leave-you "cunt" he's ever met.
Let me first say that I don't give a shit what he thinks. I would leave him again in a second for what he did. And no, he did not cheat on me. He killed a raccoon.
We were on our way from a date and a family of raccoon was crossing the street. A mother, I think it was a mother, it could have been a father trailed by three baby raccoons. I realized that he wasn't slowing down and pointed out the raccoons. "Slow down," I said.
He didn't. He pressed down on the gas pedal and purposefully ran over the adult raccoon. He ran it over as if it was nothing. He had no respect for its life . None. And no thought about the well fare of those baby raccoons. He thought that it was funny. Who would think something like that is funny?
I was devastated. I started crying and screaming at him. And I don't like hitting people, but I beat the shit out of his head with my purse. I made him stop the car to check on the raccoon. It was dead. I refused to get back into the car with him.
I saw something in that man that night that was so ugly and repulsive to me I didn't want to be anywhere near him.
After that, his calls went unanswered. I never saw or spoke to him again.
What he did said A LOT about him.
He didn’t understand why I was so upset. “It is just a stinking raccoon,” he said.
It was raccoon with a life and babies, and the raccoon’s life, in my opinion is no less valuable than mine and the idiot who took it.
So when I ran into this guy today at Hooters where I met up with my lesbian friend Kira. She was checking out boobies. I was checking out boobies.
He came over to say hello and when I told him that I would never date him again if he were the last man left standing on earth, he got pissed.
"Are you still upset about the raccoon?" he asked as if it were the most ridiculous thing in the world.
"It was a stinking raccoon," he said.
I told him to leave. I still think about the raccoon. I can still see it bleeding and convulsing in the street while the babies stood looking at him/her, their provider, protector—dying. Dead. And it still breaks my heart. I just don’t understand how or why he could’ve done something like that.
This may give some people a bit of insight into the kind of person I am. I feel everything deeply and completely. My emotions rip me apart and heal me. And I’ve learned to trust what I feel.
This racoon killer is the who called me the coldest, most unforgiving, cut-your-throat-and-leave-you "cunt".