Keeping the cat

When I first met “D” he mentioned that he was looking into a position out of state and was waiting for news about it.

Couple days ago while I was at his place helping him decorate his Christmas tree, it was clear that he had something on his mind.

He stopped decoring and sat on a sofa in one corner of the room where he could watch me. And for a while he just sat there staring. I kept decoring as if I didn't notice him sitting there, watching with this look on his face.

After a while I smiled sweetly at him. “What’s on your mind?” I asked.

“Remember the job I told you about?”

“Yes,” I said putting a bow on the tree.

I knew where this was going. I could see it in his face. I could hear it in his voice. I wouldn’t stop putting up the bows that his ex-wife made.

“Well, I received news about it,”

“Ok,” I said.

“I’m going away next week. I’ll be gone for a week to check some things out and take a test. And after that, it will be a matter of deciding when/ or if I’m going to leave,”

“Ok,” I said again, putting up another bow.

He was watching me as if he expected to see or hear something. I was expressionless. I had nothing to say. Damn, he’s leaving. I thought.

We’ve been having sex, talking, laughing, learning about each other. When I need a hug, I seek out his arms. When I have a thought, I call and share it.

I listen when he has something he wants to complain about. I care about his happiness. I care that he knows I’m there. But there is no definition.

I wasn’t sure what else to say but ok.

He kept staring at me and I kept decorating the tree.

“Kitten, stop for a moment,” he said.

I obeyed. I set down the bow and sat across from him.

“What are your thoughts about me leaving?” he said.

“I think that you should do what ever you feel is best for you,”

He kept staring at me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I didn’t think you’d be happy about it,”

“I’m not happy about it. I don’t want you to go. I’m going to miss you. I’m enjoying getting to know you and I like spending time with you. But these are selfish reasons and I can’t ask you to stay for them. You have to do what you feel is best for you. You have to do what’s going to make you happy. You wanted this long before I came into your life, and I just want to support you,”

“Even if it means ending our relationship?”

“Yes,” I said.

We sat there for a moment, silent. And then I got back up and finished decorating the tree.

Later that night we were lying in bed. His eyes were closed and my head rested on his chest. I was stroking his cat, Milo who insists on sharing the bed with us.

“What are you thinking about?” D asked.

“I read a book once,” I said. “It says that when two people come together, they come together for a reason. And when we part, we leave something of ourselves behind and take something from the other person with us. If that’s true, I’d like to figure out what you’re taking from me, and what it is you’re leaving with me,”

He chuckled. “Kitten, do you ever get tired of thinking so much?"

"No," I said.

"When or if I leave, I’ll let you know exactly what it is of you I’m taking with me,”

I kept stroking Milo. I love this cat. I would like to keep him. I wonder if "D" will leave him with me.

Comments

[soul]

Kitten, sometimes.. we meet some people and we make beautiful emotions and memories with them, seems you and D have been doing just that.

[theSaga]

lol, i love how talking about leaving something behind ended up applying to the cat.

what u read in the book, i sometimes feel it's true... other times i feel its just memories.

[Domite]

totally Agree with you Kitten MEP and I often say that all of the things we have learned in past relations have now metamorphed us into the beings that we are now as opposed to the people that we were before. I don't feel that the person that I was before woudl have been ready for MEP. I can pinpoint several relationships that have made me a better man for my ideal woman. I don't think however it is the cat. Maybe you will take away the ability to share a bed with a pet? Even understand that distance does not define a relationship, but does restrict how often you can have sex...