I Matter

What do you want?

I must've asked myself this question a hundred times in the past few months.

What am I willing to do to make this relationship work?
Whatever is necessary. I tell myself.

I love this man. He thrills me. I can wait for us to figure this out.

So I wait. I did not walk away because of this one situation. I walk away because situations like this one happened ALL the time.

For the past few months, my place in his life, comes after everything else. After work, kids, friends, golf...

I can and would live with this if we were in a casual relationship. But if I'm in an exclusive, committed relationship, I require more than 1%. If I’m going around calling myself committed, I demand commitment.

If I have a plant that needs watering once per week, but I water it once a month, what will become of that plant?

Folks, that plant will die.

A relationship is no different. I don’t complain about our weekend relationship. I’m a working woman with a goal and a plan. So him being away weekdays means that I get work done without interference.

I am a single mom of two boys and my boys comes first. So not only do I understand that his children are priority, I greatly admire his commitment to them. But I also understand that as my man, Nick needs me too, and if I want us to work and grow, and bond, I have to fit him into my life.

He doesn't seem to understand that part.

I don't ask for much. I ask only that when he sets aside one day out of the month for me, that time is not up for grabs.

Is that too much to ask?

I understand that things happen. But they cannot happen ALL the time. I cannot be the one who is always compromised.

I matter and that I'll never compromise.

Comments

[Carla]

Yes, that's the feeling, the vibe, the spirit of which I speak.
Let her speak.

Caio bella

[Jinx]

I'm a new reader of the blog and I'm loving it! I've read all the recent posts and I must say I agree with you and how you handled the situation with Nick, been there done that! Up front and honest is the way to go, you have to know what you'll stand for and what you will not. Oh, sometimes we got lost in the heat of the moment, but in the end you have to be honest with yourself and do what's right for you. You need what you need and like one of the commentors said, you can't force a square peg into a round whole. I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep your head up!

[Kat]

You are so totally right, Kitten.
If all you get is one day a month for time together, it should be yours and yours alone.