I stopped by Amanda’s house yesterday morning. We worked together years ago. She was assigned to my team. She is going through a divorce and she’s been calling me, all day long, everyday. I’ve said as much as I can. But I’m worried--the desperation in her voice is scary. And I have a weakness for women like Amanda.
I call and tell her that I'm stopping by. I was on my way to the gym for some spa treatment and thought it would do her good.
I’ve been here. I think we all have.
If you’ve ever been in a failed relationship that left you hurting…
If you’ve ever had your heart broken…
If you’ve ever felt lost and alone and helpless, you‘ve been here. This place where it’s difficult to see light through the thick veil of darkness. And sometimes we just need someone to take our hand and say come.
I don’t know what it is about the steam room, but it seems to be a place where women come to cry. The magic was not lost on Amanda. She fell apart almost immediately, and I sit there naked in the heat and fog and listen to her weep.
These tears she cry is for a man who over a span of nine years has cheated on her countless times and verbally abuse her. I look at her. She is fat and unhappy and scared. She’d dropped out of school to work two jobs to put him through school while he lied, cheated, used, misused and abused her.
I feel sad and angry and frustrated…I want to know…how do you allow yourself to be treated like this? How do you endure nine years of hell and not try to escape? How is it that hell got tired of torturing you? And here you sit weeping because hell has set you free?
I don’t ask because it’s clear that something is seriously broken. I’m glad he left her. I’m glad she’s hurting like this…I’m glad… because now she’s forced to look at herself and see.
When she have no more tears left, and the pain is no longer painful, and the fog clears…
When she finds herself in a new place--these tears, what will they have been for--the cheater, abuser, or for herself and the nine years that she will never get back?