Sex & money

I met up with Lex for a girl’s day at the spa. We were in the café sipping protein shakes in our robes after a facial and an hour long massage.

“Have you tried masturbating while doing Kegel exercises yet?” I asked.

“God no,” she said laughing.

“You’re missing out,” I said.

She was still laughing.

“So if you’re not giving yourself mind-blowing orgasms, what have you been doing?”

Taking care of Sam and the house. You, know, the usual,”

“Do you ever get tired of it? Do you ever want more?” I asked.

“No. Not really,” she said.

“I give him sex, cooks his meals, makes sure he has a nice house to come home to, and he gives me money. It's a good deal,”

“You’re a whore,” I said.

“Kitten, we’re all whores,”

“To whores,” I said raising my plastic cup to hers.

Lex is as domestic as they come. Hubby’s dinner is always ready when he comes home. Laundry is always done. His clothes are never creased. She runs his bath water for him too.

I’ve never cooked a man a meal because I can’t cook, but this is not about me, so lets move on.

Lex have a role to play and she plays it beautifully.

There was a time when I would say that I’d never do shit like this. I will say now that I don’t know if I would or could ever do shit like this. Things that used to be black and white are no longer.

Relationships are negotiable. Lex may not love Sam, but she like and respect him enough to fuck him and take care of his home. They’ve negotiated and came up with an agreement that works for both of them. Who am I to think anything of it?

Independence to me is freedom and I'm a spirit that cannot be contained. I don’t think that a situation like theirs would work for me unless I was filling up a bank account with my name only, enough to buy me freedom, and stacking up on degrees. All in addition to my half of everything.

I cannot not have something to fall back on.

But we negotiate our relationships all the time. We may not think of it as negotiation, but it has all the makings.

I can recall moments in Nick’s arms when I lay in bed with him. My breasts pressed against his chest, my legs thrown carelessly across him. I would watch him sleep knowing that we would not last. It was also beginning to dawn on me… that all relationships...eventually end. Sometimes our partners die, they stop loving us, they cheat on us, use, misuse and divorce us…

They end.

His face will not always be the face I look at like this. His body, so warm beside me now, so familiar, will not always be the one I wrap myself around. His penis that fills me time and time again with stop filling me.

It was beginning to dawn on me… as I watch him sleep, and kiss his lips and run my fingers through his hair, that this moment was all I had. Enjoy it. Wrap myself in it. Get more of it. Move on when the time comes and be ok with it.

I would wake him up with kisses. He would open his eyes to find his shaft in my mouth, or mounting him. He has never denied me.

In the end, these moments are all we're left with. Some moments last weeks, months, some may take years but eventually, they end.

I stayed because these moments, even as I realized that I did not have the promise of forever, were important to me. I’d negotiated moments of bliss amidst the tears.

I left when the moments weren't enough to keep me.

Comments

[Afrobabe]

My pussy, still overflowing with cum dripped onto his thigh.....That my friend is a classic line...lmao...Was beginning to think I was the only one who ever had a dripping pussy after sex...

[RocNaija]

Damn.. Afro.. Nasty..

[Temite]

awwwww loss...it is always there but then like u said, it is the moments that keep us. the promise of similar moments coming up...or perhaps just the hope that this one moment, this singular time will stretch and stretch and stretch into eternity. That is our hope and we leave when there is no longer hope of a lasting moment. Ally wants the moment of financial freedom (without working) to last always so she hopes and negotiates that it does. HA! What do I know, I am not getting any...so I am waxing philosophically on your page...nonsense. off I go now.
and errrr masturbating with kegel exercises...hmmmmmmm....maybe just maybe, I will give that a go tonite.