Kenny stopped by to find Nick sitting on my couch. I didn’t invite him over. I didn’t know that he was coming. I answered a knock on my door and he was standing there with flowers and a smile and a look I know very well.
I stare at him for a moment…feeling sorry for him. The door back into my life is completely closed and I’ve been clear, but I don’t think that he believes it.
“You should’ve called,“ I said.
“I was in the area,” he said. I didn’t believe him. From the looks of him, he was either on his way to the airport or coming back from somewhere. I could see his suitcase in the backseat of his car.
I offered him a glass of wine from the bottle that Kenny and I had opened the previous night. Nick is a wine connoisseur. “This wine is magnificent. Where did you get it?” He asked getting up to read the label on the bottle.
“It’s Kenny’s,” I said. “He appreciates good wine,”
“Who is Kenny?” he asked. His expression growing dark…a look I know very well. It’s the look I used to get every time he accused me of cheating on him. And he knows of Kenny. I told him about him. He knows that Kenny and I have a relationship that withstands the test of time. He knows that we have a friendship that he and I even at best times could not create. He knows that Kenny makes me laugh. That I run to him for comfort. That he’s been a constant in my life for many, many years. He also knows that Kenny loves me. It’s that knowing that used to send him into a rage whenever Kenny would call me.
“Your friend Kenny?” he asked. “Are you fucking him?”
“As a matter of fact, I am,” I said. “And he’s going to be here shortly, so you need to leave,”
“I knew that something was going on between the two of you. I was such a fool. And to think I came over here to get back with you,”
“You are a fool,” I said. “Nick, I’ve moved on. Haven’t I made that clear?”
He stares at me and in that moment, I couldn’t remember what I loved about him. I loved him back then. I fought for him back then. And now, I didn’t care.
He sat back down, I’m sure to finish the glass of wine.
Few minutes later, Kenny showed up.
The thing about Kenny…no matter the situation, he has a way of fitting into it. He greeted Nick as if they’ve been friends their whole lives.
I introduced them telling Kenny that Nick loves the wine. And for a few minutes they discussed wine and traveling and politics. They finished the bottle of wine and I walked Nick to the door.
He stood on my doorstep. He paused. He looked at me. And it was all there on his face. The words that he can no longer say. The time lost…lost in the embers of neglect. The love, my love that I’ve given away to another man.
He stares at me…and I felt once again sorry for him…
Nick will go home to a big beautiful house. But it’s not a home.
He will take one trip after another and another. He will meet strangers on his travels. He will wine and dine with them. But he doesn’t form any lasting relationships. I didn’t realize how lonely Nick’s life must be.
He has expensive things, but they don’t love him back.
I loved him back.
Perhaps that something he’s come to realize.
I loved him back.
And as he stands in my doorway looking at me, I know he could see it in my face that I don’t love him anymore.
ahhh kitten, i know what it feels like to love someone then forget what it feels like! just take care hon!
Posted by: mimi | Saturday, 04 July 2009 at 12:24 AM
Dull Nick, You Were The Jewel He Failed To Appreciate, Unlike Smart Kenny.
Posted by: thepinky@dabrain | Saturday, 04 July 2009 at 01:08 AM
i feel sorry for Nick, even though I shouldnt, cuz we all need to appreciate whoever or whatever we have, while we have them, else we lose them and guess what? we never get them back!
It's just the way it is.
Posted by: Smaragd | Sunday, 05 July 2009 at 06:25 AM