The moment Daddy met Kenny, I knew…
Like the first time I climbed onto his lap as a little girl and he read me the newspaper until I fell asleep. I knew I wanted to fall asleep like this every night.
The first time he taught me to play chess and all I wanted to do was win.
I remember watching him tortured and didn’t know what to do with himself after he spanked me for being bad. He never laid a finger on me ever again. I knew that love was his weakness.
I knew from the look in his eyes when he met Kenny that he liked him. In fact, I’ve always known. Kenny was nervous about meeting him at first, wanting to know if he’s difficult like me. After meeting daddy he concluded that I was nothing like him. "Must get your personality from your mother," he said.
Our time away was superb. Kenny got to see for the first time the Island girl he’s never met but who is so much an integral part of who I am. I really do run naked in the rain. I walk around barefoot. I can still climb trees. I can jump from a cliff and fall hundreds of feet below into the ocean and emerge with the biggest smile on my face to see him diving to meet me.
I took him to underground caves where Rastafarians play their drums and guitars and singing reggae music while puffing on monster joints. And I took him into the mountains where nature is untouched, and it’s so peaceful and beautiful it takes your breath away. And you just want to be silent so as not to disrupt anything.
I take public transportation. And rode mopeds around town. He heard me speak my native dialect of which he didn’t understand a word. Yes, I took him back to the place where it all began, to the big house on the hill over-looking the ocean where my sisters and I spent endless days roaming and discovering.
And he ravaged me…morning, noon and night every chance, every where whenever the opportunity presented itself, he ravaged me. When he wasn’t with me, I could smell him on me. He left marks on my body and infused my mind with lust...
I don’t know how our story will end. I don’t believe in soul mates, I don’t even believe in happy endings. But in this snap shot in time, with my boys and Kenny and the man who knows me better than anyone else on earth, my father…right now…I hope will stretch on and on and on, I’m not restless, and I’m not searching and I don’t have one foot in and one foot out ready to run. I am standing firmly on the ground.