I’m not a conformist. I do not apply to the school of “It should be so’s, and this is the way it’s suppose to be’s, or this is the right ways” of things. I don't believe that one size fits all.
I move to the beat of what feels right for me. I do not believe in compromising myself and my beliefs to make anyone happy. I think that people who compromise who they are end up with regrets and I will not live a regretful life.
I understand that people call that selfish. I call it self-fulfilling.
I love Kenny. I love him heart, body, and soul. And I know that he doesn’t want me to compromise myself. All he wants is clarity. I’m not opposed to marrying or moving in with him. But I’m not going to get married to prove that I’m committed to him. And even if I move in with him, I’m not getting rid of my house unless it makes financial sense. I love the place.
The true test of my commitment is my boys. 99.9% of the men I date have never been to my home or met my boys.
If I had the slightest doubt about Kenny, he would never have access to my boys. But he has keys to my house. We do things together as a family.
Don’t tell me that I’m not committed.
I’m not anti-marriage. But being married doesn‘t mean much to me. I don't see it as something I have to do to be happy.
I see marriage as more of a business contract than anything else. I belong to myself. Kenny belongs to himself. We are just sharing our lives.
One reader who sends me an email ask this question, “Isn’t marriage the ultimate commitment? After all, it carries pretty stiff penalties should it fail,”
"Penalty" that word scares the hell out of me and should not be associated with marriage. Isn't marriage the giving an act freely giving of ourselves to each other?
Fact is, if I want to leave a man I will, whether I‘m married or not despite the penalty I may have to pay. My ex-husband will attest to that.
People lie and cheat, married or not.
Relationships fall apart, married or not.
I am more likely to get married for tax breaks before I would get married to prove my commitment. Yes, I said tax breaks.
Why can’t we live in a world free of labels?
Why am I being called selfish because I believe what I believe?
Why can’t I be committed to my dream guy but don't have to get married to prove that I am committed?
I’m not saying I don’t want marriage. I don’t know if I do. I haven’t given it much thought. But if I didn’t, what’s wrong with that?
I don’t see this situation as remotely problematic for us.