Profile of a sociopath

The Profile of the Sociopath list was taken from this website. The traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.

I wanted to post it here because of my experience with CX, a man who fits most of these traits. I am not a doctor and cannot diagnose him as a sociopath/psychopath. But when I was introduced to the above website few months ago, the pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and it all made sense. Not only did I understand more clearly the danger that I was in, I also knew that trying to have any kind of relationship with him will lead to my physical and mental destruction.

I am in danger...

My friends and family have been telling me for years to get the hell away from him. But it does not matter where I go, I am bound to him through Caesar and where ever I go, he will find me. I AM HIS OBSESSION. He knows that I know "what" he is.

I have been documenting my struggles with him for almost seven years. My next few entries will chronicle my life with this "thing". What he has done to me and how he has affected me. Where we are now, and where we are headed. I realized recently that the only way to save myself is to fight for my life. There is a trail of harrassment and bizarre court filings, mountains upon mountains of lies against me ALL leading back to him.

He has unwittingly over the span of eight years been painting his madness in court filings. He is too blinded by hate and evil to see the picture that he's been painting of himself. In order to keep me down he has no choice but to get in the gutter with me.

I have tried for peace in all manner and ways possible for me, for him, and especially for Caesar. But there can never be peace with him. I have come to believe from recent actions that he will never cease his assault on me no matter how much I give. He wants me broken, but unfortunately for him, I am an unwilling victim wired with the heart of a warrior.I will not suffer in silence. I will not stay down.

He and I will soon meet on the battlefield again. This is not about winning for me. It is not a fight that can be won because of Caesar. I don't think he knows that and if he does, he doesn't care. This is about breaking free of the chains in which he has held me prisoner for the last eight years with threats of violence, intimidation, harrassment, control and abuse... There are times when one must stand and fight for one's life, freedom, and the pursuit of happiness. This is one of those.

To better understand what I am talking about, the below list summarizes some of the behavior of sociopaths, most of these traits CX to a T. I hope that it will help you recognize in your own lives if or when you come across someone like this.

Glibness and Superficial Charm

Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests

Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

Incapable of Love

Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

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Other Related Qualities:

Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
Authoritarian
Secretive
Paranoid
Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
Conventional appearance
Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
Incapable of real human attachment to another
Unable to feel remorse or guilt
Extreme narcissism and grandiose
May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

Comments

[Santana]

Wow. Unfortunately, I know what you mean. Those who have never dealt with a sociopath cannot even begin to understand the horror of dealing with someone like that.

Check out http://www.lovefraud.com/blog/ it's a site about sociopaths and a great resource

[Tulu]

Chilling. There are millions of sociopaths in the world. Approximately 4%. If this guy is one, Kitten get as far away from him as possible. Break all ties and run. But when there's a child involve...

[Sam]

OMG. I know someone like this. He brings nothing but chaos and destruction every where he goes. He lies about EVERYTHING! He scares me to death. Be very, very careful Kitten. I would tell you to run away too but with a kid involve I don't know what you can do. Exposing the sociopath may be your only option.

[kmplx]

You have to do a Tina and whup his Ike-like ass!! I feel for your son, he must be protected! hugs and strength, my skitalicious.

[Camilla]

Hugs Kitten. I have been here. He followed wherever I went and we didn't have children. I was afraid ALL the time. He's been in jail now for seven years. And I am still in therapy. People have no idea what we are talking about unless they have dealt with a sociopath/psychopath. The truth is far more bizarre than fiction.

[Nikki]

Thanks for the info. I'll keep my eyes wide open. I can't imagine dealing with someone like this. How bizarre. Sorry for all that you are going through. Hugs. You will be all right

[Sissy]

What a nightmare! Take care of yourself Kitten.
You should do whatever is necessary to live your best life. I stayed in an abusive relationship
for many, many years. I lived in fear every day with him. I finally said enough and fought back. I did not care if he killed me at that point. I just couldn't live like that anymore.

[Terry]

There are crazy women out there too. I dated a few...found myself hiding in the dark more than once from a crazy chick bent on destroying me.

[Dr. R]

Some people are born tortured and they live thier lives abusing others. As a mental health professional, I meet them on a regular basis. All the best to you.

[Deidre]

I have heard stories like this so many times it breaks my heart. It is good that you write about this issue. It is a crisis that needs gloabal awareness. Sadly, if these individuals are good enough, they can fool mental health professionals, courts, family, friends, co-workers into believing that they are the victim and you are the crazy one. Be careful. This is a dangerous situation but again from reading this, you know that.

[Lizzy]

Kitten. I've been reading you long enough to know that you would not fight this fight unless it was necessary. It was you who said in one if your posts, "all of my battles are fought on principle. I don't have to be right about anything. Kenny and I willl both be wrong to get back to us" that says ALOT about your character. Stay strong and be well.

[MH]

I call sociopaths/psychopaths the "walking dead."
It is hard for people to believe us when we try to tell them about what our life is like with such a person because the stories are so bizarre.

A lot of them use the court system and their children to terrorize us which it seems is what is going on here.
You are not alone. The link that Santana gave you is an excellent source. If you haven't already, read
"The Sociopath Next Door"

Stay strong and god bless.

[Lilly]

Scary. I realize after reading this List that I've come across s few if these people. Thank you for posting this.

[Tess]

Kitten, of course, first and foremost, take good care of you and the boys and be safe. Next, you can check out this site - http://lovefraud.com/ - which talks all about sociopaths. It's scary stuff. I wish you well, you are a strong & brave person and deserve so much happiness. Hugs, Tess.

[Laura]

Thanks for sharing this information.