Once a man, twice a child

I caught a glimpse of life today, the beginning and the end, in the face of an old woman.

Nellie is 102 years old and marked with lines that zig-zags across her face like a timeless puzzle.

She is almost bald…
The few remaining strands scatter about her head, white as snow.
She has no teeth and speaks in incomprehensible tongue.
She cannot stand or walk and reaches for her
nurse with a shaky hand.

Her mind no longer comprehends the world into which she has grown. She looks about
her, cataract eyes flickers sideways and upward like an infant discovering the world in which she is born.

She is graced now and then with fragmented faces of friends and lovers and family trapped in the fading recess of her memory. She trembles with the effort to hold on, but no use, she is lost within time and space as life prepares her for the journey back from whence she came.

“She is alone,” Anna said. “Everyone she knew is long dead,”

Once a man, twice a child, I thought staring at her from the doorway as Anna spoon feeds her apple sauce. She set her eyes upon me and pauses as if to place me in memory, apple sauce drips down her chin. I stare back, caught in a moment that takes me back in time and thrust me forward all at once.

I caught a glimpse of life today…
I saw in all my stages, what was, is, and will be, should I live long enough for time to take back all that it has given me.

Anna wipes her chin and coos at her as one would a child. Nellie gives up placing me in her fading memories, smiles at Anna, and goes back to eating apple sauce, snapping her toothless gums.

It is said that one cannot capture time. Is time not captured in the newborn, the aging, and the aged among us?

I caught a glimpse of life today…
And recognized what I was being shown; a life over a century old. Experiences, insights, mistakes and lessons learned, locked away and inaccessible in a degenerative mind. We go back the way we came.

I am more thankful for this outlet than I have ever been. What better way to record a life, to capture in motion moments, that if not documented, will disappear with time?

There may come a time when I will be unrecognizable to myself.

Comments

[TheRustGeek]

Something about the aged, and all the memories they have locked within them gets me every time. . This reminded me of Dan Howell's poem 'Piano' http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/poem/242496

... Sigh....

[Kiah]

i was thinking about this just last night...

[Ten]

I feel humble in the presence of old people.

[Lucas]

One of your best, Kitten

[Lisa]

Hey Kitten. Really enjoy this. We live in a society that places little to no value on the elderly, yet they are the most valuable.

[Anthony]

Kitten, I didn't know that you write prose...
You do it beautifully. You are a woman of many talents

[Emily]

I smile and cry reading this piece.
Wow. Perspective.

[Mel]

Simply beautiful:)

[S]

Definitely gifted. Profound. I can't help but think of my life and where I'm heading.

[Tulu]

My grandma is 101. It's sad to see her lost to herself. This is a great post. It Makes me think about MY life.

[Sara]

Hi Kitten. I'm going to be thinking about this post for a long time.

[Ron]

Hi Kitten. I love your blog and you have really struck an accord with this post. My 2012 manifesto is "life is short - play hard" and you have done a wonderful job of validating this in your own special way. Great post.

[Adura Ojo]

Beautiful. I think about this every time I write something personal on my blog. It's one of the reasons that I blog.

[Portia]

Great post, Kitten. This us sobering for me. A reminder to stop wasting my life and start living boldly. *At some point, life is going to start taking back all that it has given me*

[Carmen]

Beautiful and profound. Just lovin' you babe. Be well.

[kmplx]

the beauty of life is the cyclical progression... :) *chinks glasses*

[bb]

This is a powerful and jarring post. I'm going to live well.