Yes, I want sex but it must come with companionship and right now...a little grace. I am trying to get back to myself, to feeling desirable again, back to a point where I can lay comfortably in a man's arms and be at rest. I want someone who understands that I've been through a time, and have been alone for a while and is ok with doing o simple things with me; taking a walk in the park, holding my hands, conversing over a cup of coffee or a drink, and simply being. I want someone who wants to know me beyond the physical. Sex, will come, if I feel safe and valued. I'm a passionate, sexual woman. I enjoy everything about sex, but I have never been one to take random lovers to bed. I need some alignment and to feel that a person genuinely likes me, not just my sex... me. Sex will come.
Someone stopped talking to me recently because I took sex off the table. It wasn't personal. He's a nice and thoughtful man. But he himself seemed unsure about what he wanted in a relationship right now or if he wanted one at all. And as for me, I needed a little grace and understanding as I work on getting back to feeling human again so that I can give freely of myself without feeling conflicted or that I am moving too fast before I am ready. I'm trying to bring my heart back home and putting it back inside my chest.
If a man does not value me enough to spend time with me without having sex with me, does he value me at all? Does he not enjoy speaking with me, going to a movie, doing random things with me? Is sex my only value? I don't think that was the case, but he told me to lose his number and that he didn't want to talk to me at all and well... it made me wonder.
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